A Beautiful Friend

My friend Kelsey is so special to my heart.

She is 7 years younger than I am, so to say we were raised together may not be accurate; but our mothers are like sisters. We go way back.

Over the past couple of years, I have been so blessed to see the adult she has become. I also feel I have found a kindred spirit. I never feel the need to hide anything from her because I feel she understands the core of me.

She is strong. And brave. And genuine.

And she makes me laugh.


She's also a great model.


Meet Kels.

No words tonight.

I should know better by now...

I didn't bring my camera with me today, because we were just going for breakfast with my dad.

I should know by now that one thing always turns in to another, and whether I want my camera for the initial plans or not, I will eventually.

Sometimes I tell myself, "I have enough pictures. It won't hurt to miss one day."

But I think what it really comes down to is that I love to do it, and I feel better when I do it. It's not about having more photos to slip in to the pages of the album or to hang on the wall... it's about doing something I love.

And I feel like something is missing when we're all out and the camera is left at home.

It might sound weird, but it's become a member of the family.

My husband would tell you with a sly grin on his face that I even sleep with it at night. I would have to add that it is not in bed with me, but it is usually next to the bed.

Not just in case, but just because... because I love it that much.

My Children

For the first time, I asked my children to sit still for photographs.


I never thought they would do it. I thought it would take all day. But they both cooperated. At 18 months and 3 years. For the record, I did not pose them. Just asked them to look in to the camera.


I am still planning to do a similar photo of Matt. Then have them printed for our living room wall.


I'm excited to finally have something I'm proud of on my wall.

More Self Portraits

I wanted a new profile picture so I decided to try something new.

No make up. Hair back. Eyebrows overgrown. You can see my crooked nose and lazy eye. But it's me. And I don't think I would have said so ten years ago, but today I can say: I love it.

The Lines have Launched

My photos are now up on Kristine Bercot's web page.


Here is the link: Art & Soul Boutique



And here a couple of recent photos... sometimes it takes me a few days to digest them and weigh my feelings on them. I am not sure how I feel about the first yet but the second has grown on me very much.

Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep and Al Pacino say that it is good to establish early on that you are not worried about vanity--to just "send it packing."

Meryl Streep said, in an interview a few years ago, "People so want to set you in a box... It's reductive of my humanity and my engine. I have much more to give than that."


Of course she (or they, rather) were talking about acting.



I adore Meryl Streep.


In her, I see someone that loves what they do and does it fearlessly; in turn, changing the way it is done.

She inspires me.


I recently watched the movie One True Thing. It is not the first time I have been left speechless by one of Meryl Streep's performances, but it was the most recent.

I am a bit of a busy-body and I rarely sit through an entire movie. At the very least, I am up several times for bathroom breaks and snacks.


When One True Thing ended, Matt said, "You didn't move through that entire movie." I was fixated.

The character Meryl played in it very much reminded me of my mother. So from the beginning, I felt connected to this woman. Her decline was so real, so honest. At times, her skin so pale she looked like death with little hair or scarves tied around her head. Her face was colorless. There was nothing glamorous. She was hard to look at.


She played that role, and many other roles, bravely.



I very much love photography. It has been life-changing for me. But I do have to admit that I don't just love it as a whole. I don't love to read the magazines. I don't love to read the blogs of other photographers. Amazing angles and art done in Photoshop do little for me.


I love photographs that move me. That change the way I see the world, or that make me appreciate parts of it that I had been overlooking.


I look at photography and I feel disappointed a lot. I have a constant longing for it to be more. For it to show more. For it to grasp more. For it to move me... for it to express me.


I was thinking after watching One True Thing... I was thinking about the way it changed the entire way I was looking at the world... even the way I looked at my mother and I was thinking... I want to do that with my photography.

I don't want to be set in a box with photography. I don't want people to know what to expect from me. And I don't want to worry about my vanity.


Not every photo has to look perfect. If it makes a person laugh or cry, it did it's job. If it makes someone think, or grabs them, or helps them appreciate, or remember...


I know how to take a perfect photo. And I will. But it's not my goal, and it's not even that important.


A lot of people can do that, and I believe any fully functioning person can learn to do that.



I just... believe that I have much more to give than that too.

Self Portrait

Recently I was faced with the challenge of doing a self portrait. I thought on it a long time and decided, in the end, not to do it.


But my brave friend Michelle decided she would. What she posted moved and inspired me. So I gave it a shot.


At the risk of feeling very naked on my blog... here it is.

"My Mommy, My Mommy."

Ellis is 17 months old.


Today she was fussing--reaching for me to pick her up.



When I finally did she squeezed me hard around the neck and said, "My Mommy, My Mommy."


Why can't I take a picture of that?

A few snap shots.

Well...


My photo shoot with Kristine is tomorrow.


I am so nervous. It's going to be mid-day with lighting I don't normally choose to work with. But I'm excited to see what she has created and how gorgeous all of the little models will look in it.


I will be doing photo shoots of her daughter and Ellis on Friday I believe.


On Monday we spent the day delivering discs of photos to friends. The kids got restless so we stopped at Hardees for drinks. I took a few snap shots of the kids playing at the table. I've been trying to do more snap shots for the sake of memories. And not worry so much about every shot being perfect. It's good for me.




And here are some of Asa and our cat today. He just loves Otto. They're buds and Otto even stays in his room at night until he falls asleep.



And I also wanted to add some photos of Chrystal's little boy Evan. He's such a sweet baby boy. Some day we'll do a "real" photo shoot with him--when it's not nap time! Maybe he'll like my camera better if he's not begging for his bed. Hehe.


I was bored and playing with a new watermark. Just ignore that. lol