Some Thoughts

I've been thinking lately. About photography--and what it means to me.

In the beginning, all I knew was that I wanted to learn it. That something in me felt drawn to it.


Then I had kids. And time started to bother me more than usual. As though it hadn't bothered me enough in the first place, right?


So I started practicing more.

And I was blessed by two people that saw how hard I was working to learn with my point and shoot digital camera... and they placed a digital SLR in my hands. Something we never could have afforded for me at that point--practically still newly weds with a 7 month old baby.


I LOVED that camera. And what a gift they gave me--so much more than just something to take pictures with. It was a learning tool. It was saving the moments I was so scared to let go of. It was finding the artist in me again when I no longer had time to write.



I felt I was good at photography and I was proud of the work I was doing... until I fell in to a group of photographers on my diapering forum. One in particular took me under her wing and mentored me. And I learned not only how to master my camera--but what makes a "perfect picture," and that sometimes the perfect picture isn't so perfect by those rules anyway.


But most importantly, I learned that photography can express who I am. It can represent me.

And it can speak to people.


I realized that with my camera, and with my eye, I can show people things. And I can capture things that mean something to other people too.



Recently photography has been overwhelming me.



There are things in life that only happen once. And if you can catch those--then you have done something unique. You have done something amazing.

In the years before I met my husband, I was a nanny for two little girls. I think I will always look back on those years as some of the best of my life. The entire family was a blessing to me, and I loved those little girls more than I'd ever loved anyone.

My last week of working for them was two weeks before my wedding. We knew after my wedding, we would be seeing eachother much less. It was a huge turning point for all of us. And when it was time for them to leave, they came to say goodbye to me...




I have no words for what that moment was like for me.


But I have this photo. And it still makes me cry. And I am so thankful my photographer wasn't too shy to get down there with her camera, when everyone else had backed away to let us have our moment.


Thank you Jean.


Then there are moments... that only happen for awhile. And they are routine. But only for awhile.


And to capture those... it's to remember before you forget. To look ahead and think about what you will want to savor. Because things change faster than we think they will... and things that are so familiar... go away.





I can't say that I have ever been a very chipper person... or even an inherently happy one.



But photography for me, is to find the joyful moments. And to hold on to them. Or to embrace the painful ones for what you learned. To look at the small things in life that are hard to saying goodbye to--and claim them.



In my heart, photography feels the same as writing. And it almost feels miraculous to me that I have been able to advance in it, learn it, and then jump off at almost the same point I'd left off with my writing.



It is a gift to me.

It's something I can grab on to, when the world feels so fast, and so big...


So here's to taking photos... no matter what camera you have... whether you know the rule of 3rds or not; own photoshop or not...


Here's to holding on to life... and all the things that make us smile. And cry. To all of the Littles that grow up too fast. And all of the "grown ups" that don't realize how fast it will go.


Here are some of my favorites. Perfect or not.









And just because it's adorable...


I hope that both of my children find something that they can grab on to... as they grow and find themselves... and learn how to swim through this life.